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All along he had been looking for that big break who knew it would come in such a small form.

Throughout his life, he held out, he did not settle and now approaching middle-age he thought to himself, had he held out for nothing?

Because the thought of being normal, of being mediocre frightened him beyond even death.

His parents had been lower middle class and although he grew up with love, he rejected the path that they represented. The path of prudence, and no risks.

No risks, meant no opportunities and so he embraced the ups and downs of life with gusto.

He had made something of himself and then lost it. He lost everything and pulled himself back up again.



And then climbing, in a different industry, again he worked himself into a position of security and comfort and then lost it.

He had seen therapists and mind people and they had suggested that possibly when he was young the security that he needed was not afforded to him. That he had not gotten the type of nurturing that he had needed.

This is ridiculous he thought to himself. I had everything other kids had. Good running shoes, we ate out at restaurants. I had video game systems. Computers.

Were you ever held? Were you hugged much? Did they ever say, we love you and however you are, whatever you want to be, we love you and we’re behind you.

To that he was silent.

He had no memories of being held and touched and perhaps that was why he had trust issues even now.

Which would explain why he would rise and then something always happened? Some self-sabotage as if to suggest that he did not deserve good things.

And as luck would have it he stumbled upon Keepons and of in all places, stumbleupon.com. He had been surfing a couple of weeks back and then the site chamightlike.com appeared and at first he didn’t understand what he was looking at.